Sneaky Social Tip – Be infectious
As it turns out we unintentionally infect people with our emotions.
Researcher Elaine Hatfield studies a phenomenon known as emotional contagion which describes how we automatically mimic other peoples body language to help us judge how they are feeling. By doing so, we start to feel how they feel. So, if they are standing slightly aggressively, we will automatically adjust our posture to be slightly more aggressive and, as soon as we do, start to feel a little aggressive ourselves. This is where the gold lies. What if we were to instead, force ourselves to be curious about someone we want to talk to?
By making ourselves try to guess something about the person, their name, age, what they do for work, whatever, we engage our curiosity.
When this happens, the tiny muscles around our eyes contract to change our facial expression to curiosity. People naturally read eye language (which is often why we know not to trust some people, even before we meet them properly).
So, you look at a person with curiosity in your eyes and they start to mimic your body language. This makes them curious about why you are curious. Just like that, without a word, you have made them curious about you. Think of how much easier it will then be to start up a conversation, knowing that they are already interested in who you are.
This technique has had such a major impact on my social life, I’m not entirely sure where I would be without it. If you want to know what else has had a major impact on me, join our newsletter below and we will send you a free PDF copy of our eBook The 3 Simple Skills of Charisma, where we go into a little more detail on how to learn the skills needed to become charismatic.