Standing out from the Crowd – how to be VIP when you’re just ‘regular old me’

Have you ever noticed that some people just stand out? Everywhere they go they carry with them an aura of celebrity, a sense of importance and power. You don’t even have to speak to them to know that they’re a big deal. But how do you know? The reason, my dearest reader, is the principle of Social Proofing.

You rapidly gather information about people by watching them interact with others. Most of this information is gathered subconsciously, so you don’t even know you’re doing it. This is why you sometimes find yourself liking people before you have met them.

This is how it works: If you see someone speaking to a number of different people, and the other people seem to like them, your subconscious brain automatically assumes that they are a likeable person. It’s almost like an unspoken referral system in society. If people give them a lot of attention, we assume that it’s because they deserve attention. This is basically how celebrity works. When we see celebrities interact with people, who all adore them, we automatically start to adore them as well.


Getting your Social Proof on!

The best way to increase your social proofing is two fold. Firstly, speak to more people more often. They don’t have to be long conversations, just positive ones. You can simply introduce yourself, smile, ask them what they have planned for the rest of the evening and tell them you might ‘see them around later’. It’s as simple as that. Since the other people in the room won’t be able to hear your conversation, it doesn’t really matter what you talk about. All that matters is your confidence and body language.

Secondly, try to speak to people who have a social status. Bouncers, bartenders, the DJ, even the glassies count. Because they have a ‘rank’ in the social setting, they carry more social proofing weight. If people see that you ‘know’ the staff, they will assume it’s because you are important. Again, short conversations are all it takes. When the bartender is making you a drink, strike up a conversation. Or, even better, go request a song from the DJ – just do it in the right way. I’ve found that that best way to do this is – pick a popular club artist and say something to the effect of, ‘hey buddy, if it works in with your set, my crew would love to hear some (insert artist) a little later.’ Then ask them what their DJ name is, shake hands and introduce yourself. Because of this simple chat, everyone in the club now thinks that you know the DJ. Hey presto, you’re a celebrity.

This is one of the 9 sub-skills that fall under our 3 Simple Skills of Charisma. The other 8 are in our 14 page eBook called, obviously, The 3 Simple Skills of Charisma. To help spread the HSL love, for a limited time, we are giving you a FREE copy of this book. Pop your email below and we’ll send a copy straight to your inbox.


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