The Simple Mindset that Makes People Love You!
While the skills of charisma can be complex, the broad concept is actually relatively simple and can be summarized in a single philosophical sentence.
Show a person that you are interesting and they will like you for a day, show them that they are interesting and they will love you for a lifetime.
Unfortunately most people’s default setting is the exact opposite – they try to gain acceptance by proving to others that they are smart, funny and interesting. And since both parties probably have this default you end up in a stalemate of ‘who is the coolest’.
Charismatic people do things differently. Charismatic people realize that connection comes from first, making people feel comfortable and second, finding commonalities with them. This is why they make the conversation all about the other person. They ask insightful questions and slowly work their way towards the same end goal – to get the person talking about what they love the most. If you can do this, the person will feel like you really understand them – because you do.
So, rather than trying to impress people with your crazy stories or fancy job, simply ask them questions. Find out where they’re from, where they grew up, where they’ve traveled, what makes them tick, what gets them excited and what makes them unique. If you make it all about them they are more likely to feel comfortable, which will make them like you. This is the first step in charisma.
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